In the fall my husband and I celebrate our anniversaries with a hike. We haven’t been able to do this for a few years since having the young one. On our wedding anniversary we went to hike poke-o-moonshine in New York. A comedy of errors put me in a very negative mood and I was not able to complete the trail we had selected. Needless to say I was extremely disappointed in the situation and in myself.
We decided on a do-over for our “getting engaged” anniversary. This time we joyously reached the top and were able to soak in the beauty of autumn around us. This got me thinking about my lessons and what I was supposed to glean from my previous disappointment. That day on the beautiful and amazing mountain, during the most gorgeous weekend of our autumn, I took home AGAIN the lesson that starting from a place of negativity, anxiety, and “can’t do” inhibits our abilities to shine and live out our potential. Starting that day’s hike with hopefulness, love, compassion, and excitement allowed me to continue even when the trail got steep and difficult.
So, this weekends lesson? When you are starting on a new adventure, whatever your challenge might be. Start from a place of love and compassion for yourself and others. Surround yourself with positive energy. Because not only is there exquisite beauty in the climb, but it is even lovelier on top.
Dance Encounter, 8×10 Monotype
We found this tomato in our garden when we were harvesting. Such a funny thing nature. It makes everything a little bit different. I think that is the way life should be. Like snowflakes we are all unique and no one is quite like another, even when they are similar. I think art in that way as well.
Last year my ladies art group did a challenge and we each created a piece from the same photograph. It was amazing how everyone interpreted that photo differently. They were all beautiful in their unique and mystical way. I love that about life.
Here is to being different.
We walked outside with our tummies grumbling, ready to go out to lunch for our girls day. My stomach sank to the ground when I looked around and said “where is our car?” It took a minute for me to realize that my car was gone. Most likely towed as the lot was half empty. No doubt an end of the month city clean up to gain some revenue. But I had money in the meter! This was all I could mutter.
When I heard that small voice “The wind blew our car away….!”
My heart and soul laughed out loud as I realized what a three year old makes of her world when we just experienced the “big storm.” How a simple heart puts two and two together and draws a conclusion. The one that makes the most sense to her.
Well, how can I take myself seriously? How can I be mad when I knew that I had some overdue parking tickets. Boy do they go up when you don’t pay them for 10 years! How can I teach her how to “listen to the rules” if I don’t do so myself. While a few years ago I would have thrown a temper tantrum; my meditation, yoga, and mindfulness kicked in full force assisting me in remaining calm and centered. I accepted responsibility and did the best I could to make it an adventure for my baby love. I made a mistake and now we had to just deal with it.
A long phone call and a cab ride later. We were in the car headed for some food. (Thank god for mommy big purses with snacks stuck inside!)
Yesterday was a lesson in remembering to accept responsibility and let go of control. I couldn’t force anything. I had to let go and be flexible. For me and for her, I had to focus on the joy rather than getting angry and allowing that to ruin my day. Once again, that little voice reminded me that you can make an adventure out of the most unfortunate of events. BTW she adored riding in a cab and talking about our car going to jail because mommy didn’t follow the rules. Another side lesson; even mommy makes mistakes.
Here is another digital print done with my new toy, Photoshop Elements.
Dream Walk to the Barn
Here is to not taking ourselves too seriously, letting go, and embracing joy.
Namaste
So in re-reading my last post with some feedback, I realize that I have more to say on the subject. For many years, I denied who I was; an artist. I denied how important it was to express myself. I denied myself because of all the doubt and shame that kept me from standing up and shouting out my truth.
This post is not really about art, but I felt the need to share pieces of my life that feed the undercurrent for my work.
This weekend I had to face the fact that our lives are fleeting and temporary. I spent time with a family member who has stage four cancer. She told me she just hopes for more time. That statement keeps haunting me as I sit here and perseverate on all that happened in the last few days. It got me thinking about what matters in life and what really counts in the long run.
Over the last few years, my husband and I have had a lot of conversations and made a lot of changes. We live a quiet life in the country and try to keep things simple. We bought an old farmhouse and have spent the last five years renovating. We keep a garden in the summer and try to provide as much of our own food as we can. We reduce, reuse, and recycle every day. We help each other make time for our passions; art for me and music for him. We work hard to make the focus of our lives spending time with people we love, and doing the things that bring us joy.
We started making these changes as we became more and more disillusioned about what was going on around us. Our society spends too much time being consumers and worrying about having shiny cars and big houses. We want to look like models and live like celebrities. And if that isn’t enough, there is no focus on the here and now. Just when you get something accomplished in your life, people are asking you about your next move. You graduate college, it’s when are you going to get a job. You find the “right” person, it’s when are you going to get married, buy a home, have children, and retire. And god forbid you don’t have a five year plan and a desire to climb the corporate ladder.
I’ll be the first to admit that these things all used to have meaning for me. I thought that was what we were supposed to strive towards. As I grew into myself more and more, I realized it was not what I wanted.
Even with all the changes my husband and I have made in our lives, it still give me pause to hear those simple words; I just want more time. With as much as I think about making this life count, I still have to remind myself to slow down and enjoy all the little things that make up my day.
I have to put tasks out of my mind and enjoy watching my daughter play and walk across the room for the first time.
I have to put my day job out of my mind when I get home so that I can enjoy my family.
I have to shut off the television and make my way to the studio and pick up a brayer and some ink.
I have to put my need to “produce” work out of my mind and just truly enjoy the act of creating.
So the gift from this incredibly emotional weekend is a lesson; Enjoy each moment in time because it may be your last. Savor it, live it, and love it. Do what really matters.
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